Insomnia Nights

Sometimes when I can't sleep, I just write. However the reason for my insomnia is thinking too much; hence writing requires thinking and emotions and therefore is probably not the greatest resolution to the problem.
But the truth is sometimes at night I feel really alone; like the most important part of me is missing. When I have these episodes, it feels like my bed just grows in size, and I become just a small lump in a cold, unfamiliar place. Often times I really do miss his solid hold or the nights we made love in the faint glow of a table side light. I used to think nothing could break that love.
All he can say is thanks for the memories; like a stupid cliche, or a quote from Fall Out Boys; really original right? I'm not pointing fingers, but it's a tormenting feeling not being able to sleep; or thinking what we shared is really just a figment of the past. Well to him it is... and that's what hurts most. I think his giving up is what keeps me up at night. Who vows that they'll love someone forever, and then just kick that feeling aside like it's nothing, like some burnt out cigarette.
Furthermore how can I ever love again? All love has taught me; is that you give your heart unconditionally to someone, trusting their words of forever, and it gets thrown away for the next beer pong party. It's taught me that, the people around me will all be happy and in love and I will spend my nights teary eyed; and heartbroken, praying for God to grant me some strength to move on. And I'll be jealous and upset, and I'll keep those feelings to myself, but deep inside, my heart will long to just love and be loved in return.